Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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