So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize