oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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