I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
