please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
