the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
