OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
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Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
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I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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