The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Oh god it's open bar.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
