I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
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Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
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The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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