we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
