Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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