I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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