1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
