Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think my moral compass just broke
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