erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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