woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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