I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
