I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
