I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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