is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
