What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize