Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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