My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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