And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
