My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
