just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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