Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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