it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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