i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
