3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I hate all girls vehemently.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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