Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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