I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
