highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
jump out the window naked night went bad
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
