Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
