So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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