At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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