Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
