So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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