Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
What drink are we having for lunch?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize