i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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