Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
