So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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