he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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