Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
