I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
