she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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