You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
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He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
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Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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