Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
