i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
smell my finger.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
