I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize