I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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