you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i out mim tonsoeep
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