So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
