I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
