You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
