As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
