I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
