You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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