If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
