you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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