He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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