this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
