It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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